Horvak, Can You Spare Some Slime?
by Save Fearow
Summary: Flashback/extended scene. Slickis hasn't been a Dad for very long, but he could really use a friend right now. So could Horvak, if only he stopped to consider things.


Horvak, Can You Spare Some Slime?

an Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic

by Save Fearow

Author's Note: Companion piece, serving as an expanded flashback hinted at in 'Road To Alexandria'. Because he's such a very young bonsty, this takes place during December of 1884. If asked about it later Ickis might still insist this is "Not saying that's why, just that it -could- happen." Then, when he was sure you weren't looking, he'd let Krumm borrow another comic book.

The children gathered in the park, circling their snowman. "We should find a hat. Maybe then it will come to life!" one boy suggested, as he eyed their creation.

"GRAWWRARRAWWL!" the monster roared as he loomed out from under the snow.

The young humans screamed in fright and ran away, while the monster shrank back down, laughing happily.

"Ha ha! That was great! Didja hear those screams, Ickis? Exciting, huh? Your old beast has really outdone himself!" Slickis gloated. He waited a few moments for his son's response. "C'mon, Ickis. This is the part where you coo and clap your paws in delight, then I tell you more about how terrific my scares are." He gave the bonsty a little nudge.

Ickis coughed and made a weak attempt to swat his father's paw aside.

"Ickis? You alright, son? You're not really built for winter, are you?" Slickis observed. "I know it's early, but I'll putcha back in the suitcase. There's a monster doctor over in Chelsea, he might take a look at you. Jus' lie down and don't worry, Daddy's here, I'll take care of it." Slickis tucked his son inside and closed all but one of the latches to give Ickis more breathing room. He headed for the nearest manhole, then took to the sewers beneath 10th Avenue, hiking north for several blocks, bouncing the suitcase a little as he went since the motion seemed to soothe Ickis a little. Slickis smiled at the sight of the doctor's office, this would solve everything!

"Hullo. Need an appointment for my bonsty, if you'd be so kind." Slickis greeted the receptionist.

She barely glanced at him. "50 toenails is the co-pay, depending on your insurance, the total fee may be higher still." she informed Slickis.

Slickis grinned nervously. "I got 38 toenails on me, would you be willing to accept payment on an installment plan?" he offered.

The receptionist eyed him with distaste. "No. 50 toenails is what it costs just to get seen, Dr. Spocard is a very busy monster." she explained.

"But he's jus' a little bonsty, only 4 months old! My son shouldn't have to pay the same as an adult!" argued Slickis.

"Of course not. Pediatrics are extra." the receptionist detailed.

"Please, I'll pay it all off later, we jus' don't have the toenails right now. I got a book deal in the works and- " Slickis began.

"50 toenails is the doctor's fee. It's non-negotiable." she insisted as she returned to reading her newspaper 'Monsters Today'.

"Jus' this one time, Miz! He's m'boy, and he's all I have. I promised Ickis I'd be there for him!" begged Slickis. He unlocked the suitcase in desparation. "Put that newspaper down and look at him! His fur is turning blue!"

The receptionist peered at Ickis briefly. "I prefer yellow on bonstys." she admitted.

"It's not a good color on him, I know!" Slickis protested. "Help a monster out, please! The bonsty protective service agency is always watching me. What if- what if they decide I'm an unfit parent?"

"Then I guess he'll end up with his mother. That's usually the way those things go." she acknowledged. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have paying customers lining up. You need to take him outside."

Slickis retreated, looking visibly shaken. "You're NOT ending up with them, Ickis. Not yet, it's too soon." Slickis vowed. "You and I have -lots- of time left together."

Ickis sneezed and hunched his shoulders against the wind.

"We'll try someplace else. There's this saying, Ickis, whenever one door closes another opens!" Slickis proclaimed.

Another monster shuffled past them, rudely. "Get a job, you bum!" he hollered.

Slickis frowned. "Scaring is a respectable profession. Doesn't rake in the toenails always, but it's enriching in many ways." professed Slickis. Ickis moaned softly. "Shh-hh. Don't cry. I'll figure out what to do. You don't need the doctor's advice, at your age they mostly prescribe penicillin... that's jus' a fancy word for mold and..." Slickis' eyes lit up. "Let's go for a stroll, Ickis. You've never been to Fieldston yet, have you? Lovely neighborhood, very picturesque, farmers mostly, but you couldn't find a better group of monsters if you tried."

Slickis arrived at the mold farm while the first snowflakes were falling. "Horvak's got his crop already harvested, that's wonderful. He'll be more likely to spare some if he knows he's got more in reserves." Slickis theorized as he knocked on the door to his friend's house.

Horvak's wife, Shlumm, answered the door. "Hello?" she called out.

"Hey, nice seeing you again, Shlumm! Is Horvak in? You look hideous this fine evening, by the way. I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by." Slickis claimed, trying his best to sound chipper and unobtrusive.

"Slickis? I didn't think you lived anywhere, er, anywhere close by!" Shlumm corrected herself.

"Well, y'know how it is when you're scaring, traveling goes with the territory!" Slickis insisted. "Ickis is really quite lucky, seeing the world at such a young age!"

Shlumm smiled. "Where is your little bonsty? I don't think I've ever seen him, but he's not much younger than my Krumm, is he? Maybe they'll be friends someday." Shlumm hoped.

"He usually rides in the suitcase." Slickis indicated. He opened it up again, revealing a tired-looking Ickis.

"Oh my! He's such a... little devil. I'm sure he's got a great personality." Shlumm searched for something complimentary.

"Ickis is a great bonsty, very energetic most days." Slickis declared.

"He has your ears, definitely. Would have thought he'd have your coloring, too." remarked Shlumm.

"He does ordinarily. I think he's coming down with somethin', got a faulty camoflauge gene, see." Slickis explained. Ickis sneezed twice.

"You shouldn't keep him outside then. Bring him into the mold silo, we've got plenty of room there." Shlumm directed them.

Slickis scooped Ickis up into his paws and carried the boy to shelter. "Thank you. We wouldn't want to put you out." Slickis professed.

"Think nothing of it. A bonsty's health is more important than anything." Shlumm stated.

"We won't stay long. Got to meet with bonsty services the day after tomorrow anyway. I'll pay for our lodging. I can give you some toenails, or work it off on the farm." Slickis offered.

"There's no need for that. You shouldn't overexert yourself at this point. If you got sick, who would care for your bonsty?" Shlumm asked.

Slickis' eyes widened. "I- I always assumed I'd be strong enough." he admitted. "Have to be, Ickis needs me to look after him."

"I'm sure he appreciates it, but you shouldn't do -everything- by yourself." Shlumm advised. "You've been a good friend all these years, so you can always come to us, okay?"

"Sure. Still feel I oughtta do something for you, because it means so much to us." Slickis acknowledged. He gazed fondly at Ickis who coughed again. "Po' little guy. Hope it doesn't affect his sense of taste. He's already a picky eater."

"You're kidding! That's so unusual. Krumm will eat anything!" Shlumm gushed.

"Sounds like a bonsty after my own heart." Slickis noted. "Nope, Ickis will spit out whatever he doesn't care for. I have to find him the unleaded crude oil, he won't swallow the regular kind. Course it's better for him, so maybe it's all jus' as well."

"I'll bring him some curdled milk with extra skankum. That's very nutrituous." Shlumm stated. "Make yourselves comfortable and I'll get back to you soon."

Slickis watched her leave, then turned to Ickis. "Want a story tonight, son? It's Beowulf, I know it's always Beowulf, until I get you another book. Estoy leyendo el libro en español esta noche. Tu madre y yo fuimos a Cancún un año. Disfrutamos neustras vacaciones. Pues, te gustaría la lengua, Ickis." he suggested hopefully.

Shlumm was boiling the skankum when her husband walked in. "Fixing me a snack? Great, just don't burn it this time." Horvak told her.

Shlumm rolled her eyes. "It's not for you." she insisted.

"For Krummy? Boy's got a good appetite, that's for sure." Horvak commented.

"No, it's for Slickis' son. I gave Krumm a bottle of pond scum just a minute ago, to tide him offer. He's in the crib now, trying to juggle his eyeballs." Shlumm detailed.

"Slickis is here? Great, I could use a heavy lifter." Horvak decided.

"He's NOT here to work for you. He's resting in the silo, alongside his bonsty. Little Ickis isn't well." explained Shlumm.

"Doesn't excuse Slickis from working. He's no lie-about, he'll check the pipes for me or start carrying slop around the instant I ask, trust me." Horvak proclaimed.

"I'm sure he -would-, I don't want him to. Honestly, Horvak! Slickis has been through alot recently, he shouldn't have to be your beast of burden!" argued Shlumm.

"Why d'ya always have to start a fight, Shlumm? Cain't you just take a good thing for granted, the way I always do?" wheedled Horvak.

"I'm not sure I can." Shlumm revealed. "That's what makes it so hard sometimes, being with you..." she trailed off sadly.

Horvak scratched himself. "Lemme know when you start seeing sense." he quipped. "Guess I'll go play with Krumm a little."

"Please do! It's one of the best uses of your time!" Shlumm claimed. "I know you can be a good monster, I just wish you'd demonstrate that more often."

"What I am s'posed to do, spend half'a my time doting on Krumm, and the rest swooning over you?" suggested Horvak. Shlumm smiled engagingly. "Not likely." Horvak laughed.

Shlumm scowled as she added the skankum to the curdled milk. "Don't I know it." she grumbled.

Slickis had set the book down. He felt awkward, overhearing Horvak and Shlumm's argument. Ickis had probly been listening too, but at least he couldn't comprehend the severity of the situation.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Shlumm apologized as she entered the storage barn. "I thought I'd better grab a few extra blankets while I was inside. We keep the silo heated, but Ickis might feel more comfy if he had this wrapped around him."

"Thank you. I've been meaning to scrounge up somethin' warm for him, but we haven't had much luck on salvage runs." Slickis confessed. He secured a blanket tightly around Ickis.

"Keep it then. Try giving Ickis a spoonful of the medicine first." Shlumm suggested. "If he doesn't like it, offer the milk right afterward, before he has a chance to spit it up."

Slickis nodded. "Hey son. Look what Daddy's got for you. Open wide." Slickis instructed. Ickis sniffed at the spoon doubtfully, then turned away.

"Isn't he going to even taste it?" Shlumm inquired.

"You're not giving it a chance, son. You need to think about how good it is for you!" Slickis persisted. He ruffled his son's fur. Ickis opened his mouth to protest and Slickis quickly jammed the spoon in. "That's the way to do it. Know what would go great with that? Curdled milk!" Slickis slid the spoon out and deftly replaced it with the bottle. Ickis tried to resist, but was forced into swallowing the entire mouthful. He glared at his father for a moment, then began to suckle.

"You're a very good cook, Shlumm. Ickis definitely likes that beverage." observed Slickis.

"At least the younger monsters appreciate my effort." she sighed. "Slickis, can I ask you something?"

"Ask me anything." Slickis assured her.

"S'pose you married a monster for his stench, but then over the years, you noticed that he wasn't -quite- as pungent as when you first met. What would you think?" she asked tentatively.

Slickis' eyes darted about the barn, as if looking for an excuse. "Er, that you were catching cold?" he finally replied.

Shlumm frowned. "Horvak is keeping -something- from me, and I'm going to find out what." she determined.

"Maybe you won't have to, he might decide to come clean all on his own!" Slickis responded hurriedly.

"Do you really believe that?" wondered Shlumm.

"I always hold out hope for the best." Slickis declared. "That's why I've got Ickis, to remind me how good we've got it."

"Bonstys are wonderful. I'm so proud of Krummy. He's crawling around frequently, and his hand-eye coordination improves all the time. Oh, and he's learned 3 words, 'gimme', 'food', and 'Krumm'. It's so terrific when bonstys can say their own name." Shlumm recalled.

"Ickis has learned his first word. Maybe he'll say it for you." Slickis prompted. "Go ahead, son. Tell the nice monster who do you love, who's the best scarer?"

Ickis let go of the empty bottle. "Dah?" he rasped.

Slickis beamed. "That's m'boy, doesn't miss a beat." he noted with pride.

"That's sweet. I bet he grows up to be a real charmer." Shlumm predicted.

"Mah?" Ickis squeaked, pointing to Shlumm happily.

Slickis' ears drooped. "No, no, that's Krumm's mom." Slickis informed him. "Your mom loved you very much, and she'd want me to tell you that, okay Ickis?"

Ickis whimpered and snuggled in closer to his father. "Dah." he repeated.

"That's right, Daddy's here. Daddy loves you." Slickis professed. Ickis coughed, and closed his eyes.

"I'll leave you fellas in peace then. Good night, Slickis. Rest and feel better, Ickis." Shlumm wished them all the best.

"G'night, Shlumm. Tell your family we're very grateful for this." Slickis recognized.

"I'll let them know." Shlumm promised, as she closed the door behind her.

Slickis slept longer than he meant to the next morning, so Shlumm had already prepared breakfast when he awoke. He carried Ickis into the dining room, and apologized profusely for not helping with the task.

"Don't worry about it." Shlumm brushed off his concerns.

"Ain't no shortage of work fer you round hereabouts." Horvak insisted. "You want sumthin' to do, Slick? Betcha I find plenty of other chores awaiting."

"Maybe you can do those chores yourself for a change. Next thing you know, you'll be asking Krumm to participate." griped Shlumm.

"Naw, he's still too little. Give him another 20 years or so, then he'll pull his weight." reasoned Horvak.

Shlumm swished her bobtail angrily. "I've never heard something so outrageous!" she snarled.

"You don't really pay enough attention, I reckon." Horvak decided.

"Ooh!" Shlumm grabbed her bonsty and stomped off into the kitchen, looking very irritated.

Slickis sighed as he watched her stalk off. "That was a very nice breakfast, up until now." he stated.

"I figured you liked it, on account'a you had 6 helpings!" Horvak detailed.

Slickis blushed. "She makes an excellent maggot brioche." he remarked. "You've got a great girl, y'know that? Maybe it isn't my place to say so, but I know you've been keeping secrets from her, and I think you oughtta stop that. Shlumm deserves to hear the truth, if you don't tell it to her soon, you might lose her for good."

Horvak scowled. "No offense, Slick, but I -don't- think I need advice on keeping a wife from a monster who's ALREADY lost his." he retorted.

Slickis frowned. "Offense -was- taken, but I'm letting that slide cause Ickis really needs a warm, dry place to sleep tonight." Slickis realized.

"Good. Long as you unnerstand that, maybe you also know how helpful it'd be if you did a little work around the ol' homestead." Horvak pointedly suggested.

"I could box and sort all the mold you've got stored in the silo. I can keep looking after Ickis while I do that, I won't take on any tasks that would keep me from him right now." Slickis agreed.

"We got 45 diff'rent kinds, don't mix them up! I ain't got time to supervise you." Horvak noted.

"I'll give it my best effort." Slickis promised. "C'mon, Ickis. You can watch me work." Ickis snuffled and let out a snore.

"He's gonna watch with his eyes closed?" Horvak questioned.

Slickis shrugged. "It's no different from most supervisors." he claimed. "Couldn't be any worse than doing it with one eye."

It took another 4 minutes before Horvak realized he'd been insulted. "Hey!" Horvak protested. "Yer s'posed to be the NICE monster, 'member?"

~~~The End.

Author's Note: Although she's been mentioned a few times, this is the first actual appearance of Krumm's mother, Shlumm. I hope she lived up to everyone's expectations. Sometimes even monsters have trouble meeting an ideal. Too bad Horvak didn't learn that lesson in time. (I don't think we've really got to see him at his best. Horvak loves Krumm very much, and he cared for his wife too, but he was blunt and didn't always think before he spoke. Horvak does enjoy Slickis' company, even when he's not being a source of free labor.) And yes, you can treat certain forms of bronchitis with antibiotics, although if possible you should get a doctor's opinion first. Drinking plenty of liquids and staying out of a humid environment would also help a great deal. Reviews are encouraged.


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